Five surprising reasons men are happy in a relationship1.) He needs to communicate with youA lot of men need to be in a relationship more than women do. Surprising? Not really, when you think about it. Women usually have close relationships with their friends. They talk about health problems until they feel better. But men don't. As Helen Fielding's character, Bridget Jones, says, 'Women have emotions and men have football.' Men are competitive and so, in general, they rarely share their emotions or problems with each other, as they think it makes them look too weak. When he needs to open up and talk about his feelings, guess who he eventually shows his vulnerable side to? You!
Woman's (or rather MY) Version:We need to communicate with you ALOT.
Despite the deceptive myraid pleasures the body can bring, i don't believe that people can fall in love in mid-bonk. We do so in conversation, when someone intuitively seems to respond to our emotional needs with a kind word, a compliment or a declaration of emotion. After a while of being together, couples forget to talk as much and the foundations of the relationship begin to suffer their first cracks. The same guy who could once spend hours talking to us, swaps pleasantries during the ad breaks on TV now; you think that he believes there's little more to learn about us - and is therefore hardly interested in our point of view at all. This scares us more than we want to admit. Remember that women want and need stimulating conversation with you.
2.) He wants to be your heroKnowing that he can make someone else happy makes him feel good inside, because he has the power to change things. And what bloke doesn't secretly want power of some sort? At least if he can't always be top dog at work, he can be a star at home. Instinctively, he aspires to be Spider-Man or Superman – to be your hero, to be able to make things right: to be appreciated, to be someone's knight in shining armour. So when you are disappointed or unhappy, he feels responsible. What matters is that you are happy and then he's got one less thing to worry about. Strange but true.
Woman's version: We want to be your princess. Sometimes we can also be the Wicked Witch of the West, the Dominitrix, the Damsel-in-distress, the Catwoman (*purr*)...but at the end of the day, we just want to be treated like a princess. But we don't want men to be our butler. We want a prince. If you want "power" of some sort, then you better not be a pushover who will accede to our every selfish whim and demand or be at our beck and call all the time. Sure we want you to slay our dragons and kill our cockroaches; but most importantly we want to love you for the person you are, not the things you do for us.
3.) He strives to make you happyThe number one reason men leave relationships is because they feel as though they can't meet their partner's needs. This makes them feel inadequate, and it makes them feel as though there's no way their partner can feel respect for them. For women, communication seems to be the top priority in keeping the relationship going – but, quite honestly, men don't understand this constant need to talk about things over and over.For men, the relationship is a success if they feel respected and if they make their partner happy. This is why a new conquest is exactly that – he feels as though he is in charge – he is once again someone's knight in shining armour.If you resent him because you feel overworked and under-appreciated, stop doing so much – you are probably destroying your relationship! He doesn't want to feel responsible for you rushing around, worn into the carpet, and most men really don't notice whether the housework has been done or not. What they want is respect and appreciation. 'All we really want from women,' a (male) friend recently told me, 'is for you to smile at us.' (And probably one other thing, if he thought about it for longer than a millisecond.)
Woman's Version:Women leave men because they CAN'T meet their needs. Maybe for some, it's material needs, then you have my condolences because she is the one with the problem, not you. But for normal girls like me, quality time (and stimulating conversation again) ranks top on the priority list. SMS is not counted. If a woman can't stop nit-picking your relationship with her, she probably is insecure. Whatever the issue she wants to argue talk about is secondary, the bottomline is that she doesn't trust your feelings for her as much as she should. Then reassure her once and for all and make sure your actions mirror your words.
Women want to be pleased too...more than anything we enjoy and appreciate the effort men put in. But we can sniff out the sincerity in one's actions - are you trying to make us or yourself happy? Are you trying to prove to others that you are such a great bf when you put up dazzling displays of love?
4.) Sex makes him feel lovedSex has the same effect on men as romance does on women. So the reverse is also true: no sex = no love, no approval, no acknowledgement. They get that same sad, unloved feeling that you get when you don't get flowers, your partner looks at other women or ignores you.
Woman's Version:Women don't want to be treated as sex objects. Write that down in your PDA. And so, excessive sex without communication = no love, no approval, NO RESPECT. We get the same shitty feeling you get when your favourite football team gets trashed, your newly bought gadget gets stolen or damaged.
5.) You are his (secret) reason for livingHe needs you because you inspire him to do better – he has someone to do things for, goals to reach, a reason to go out and conquer the world. What's the point of being disgustingly rich and powerful if there's no one to share it with? What he needs is the gift of you.
Women's version: Men are our (not so secret) reason why we want to look more beautiful. :)
